The Encounter

Well, it was bound to happen. We were bound to run into my ex sooner or later. And when it did, I had a very strange mix of emotions that I was not expecting. I'll set the scene for you:

DJ and I went to San Marcos for his uncle's funeral the week before Mother's Day. This was a very large gathering with TONS of family...this particular uncle did have 13 brothers and sisters afterall. Well, DJ's cousin is really good friends with my ex and we knew we would run into him here. The church was full...probably 200 people were there. When most of the crowd was gone, I looked across the church and saw him, made eye contact with him from across the room. What I did not know was exactly how at peace I would feel and this incredible sense of RELIEF that this dreaded encounter had come now....and not anytime sooner. We did have Nate with us, and all of DJ's family, and you have no idea how good that made me feel knowing that I had my loving family around me to "protect" me from this person from my past.

When I made eye contact with him, I immediately felt all of those old feelings of unease, dislike, fear and disgust. But then I remembered that I am not part of his world anymore and he can't hurt me anymore. He looked the same, growing his hair and facial hair out and still had that smug look on his face. Knowing that he still looks the same, still hangs out with the same old crowd, probably still works in the same place, still not doing anything with his life...it all made me feel so relieved that I GOT OUT!!! Yes, I wasted almost 5 years of my life with him, but I'm no longer in that relationship. No longer feeling unloved, unwanted...more like a caregiver than a partner. No sir...I am out of that life.

Now I am in a healthy marriage with an incredible man who has changed his life so dramatically...for me and his son. I have been accepted into his loving and incredibly supportive family. I now have a real partner who contributes equally to our home, pays his bills, and CARES about me and my feelings. Loves me for who I am, and loves my family too. I am so lucky, and this encounter just reminded me of that. So I wanted to share it with you all, if there is anyone left who reads my blog. :)

I also want to thank each and every one of you for the support you have given me over the last three years. I have made so many changes and all of you were a part of them, even if just by being my friend. Thank you for helping me realize my worth and helping to guide me to my new incredible life. Even though it was uncomfortable to run into him at this meaningful family gathering, it was the best thing that could have happened to remind me of what I have now, and where I came from. Have a blessed day everyone!

Where the heck have you been??

That's what you all want to ask me...that is anyone who might occassionally read my blog. I know, it's been way too long, but hey....life's been busy. Since my last post we have moved into our new apartment and it is really great. No more stairs, more space, more storage, etc. And the best part it, no more commute!! It has been really good for us to all be in one town together. Arlington, so far, is an ok place to live...other than the fact that the closest Super Target is in a different city!! We're getting used to shopping at different stores, but really missing our Sprouts grocery store. But overall, it's been good.

I think Nate is getting used to his new caregiver. Her name is Donna and we like her. She is different from Sherry, and I do miss some of the things that Sherry used to do. But Donna is a rule follower, and she is teaching Nate how to follow rules too. It took a few weeks to get settled at Donna's house, but he is now one of the gang and doing well. We also have a new doctor for Nate, and we have met her once and another doctor in her practice once. No complaints there, they have been great!

DJ's job has been challenging...to say the least. But he is working through most of the issues and getting the stores fixed to the way they should be. Lots and lots of issues there, but he's working hard to make his job better! My job has not changed and it is better now that I am not having to make that awful commute. :)

So, to sum it up, we are enjoying our new apartment and getting used to our new work and daycare environments. Life is good, we are all healthy, and I can't complain about anything! We miss our family, but the extra time we have with each other is totally worth it. Hopefully I'll get some Easter pictures up soon, there are some super cute ones!! Have a blessed day everyone!

Goodbye to life in the fast lane!

As most of you know by now, our little family is moving to Arlington!! DJ has accepted his same position at one of the 3 Arlington stores that his company has, and we have found an apartment...things are happening fast! We wanted to rent a house, but the expense of moving is just too much for us right now, so we're in a little bigger apartment than we have now. Best thing about the new apartment is that Nate will have his own bathroom now!! YAY, no more moving bathtoys and his little duckie tub every time we shower! We are moving at the end of February.

Did I ever tell you all how much I love and appreciate my husband? DJ is the most supportive and wonderful husband, and even though the store he is moving to is "all messed up", he is taking this transfer to make me happy and have more time with Nate and I. He will be taking over a store where previous managers and employees stole money and basically ran the store into the ground. His new boss has been working on improving it, but it will be up to him to bring it back to the company's expectations. This is a lot of pressure to volunteer for, and I am now eternally grateful to him for making this move for me and my sanity. That brings me to my next statement:

BYE BYE, COMMUTE!!! Some people don't mind driving an hour one way to work, and then up to 2 hours home everyday. And I commend them for the sacrifice they are making daily to live in a geographically ideal location. But this commute has taken such a huge toll on me physically and mentally....and it has especially taken a HUGE chunk out of each paycheck that it hardly seems worth it! The toll road was my only option, and it was just a nightmare every month to see how much was just disappearing to the toll roads and gas. Some days the commute wasn't so bad and I didn't mind the mindless driving. But most of the time I didn't like the way the traffic was affecting my mood, it would turn me into a road-raged monster by the time I got home and I hated it!! It had to stop one way or the other. Thank God this opportunity came along when it did, and I pray that we made the right decision to make this move.

Anywho....now you are updated on what's going on with us. We have about a month now to pack and then we move on Feb. 25th, so I've got to get busy!! I hope that all of you are having a great day and month. Much love and blessings to you all!

Update on little Nate

Hi everyone! It's been about a week since I posted anything, so thought I'd update you on our lives. Nate is doing well, but is teething like crazy. I am just hoping that his little teeth take a break for Christmas since we will be out of town and out of his normal routine. He already has a hard time sleeping when we're not at home, so add teething pain to this and it doesn't seem very relaxing for mom and dad or poor baby Nate! However, we are really looking forward to seeing the Vargas side of our family, it has been over two months since we've seen them and Nate has so many things to show them! Dad Vargas has been through a lot this year, and I know he is really looking forward to our visit, and we are equally as excited to get down there and spend some time with all of them. I'm just hoping that Nate will be "nice" to everyone, he sure has been a bit cranky lately...

Last night my sister Lori and her family came by to drop off presents from the rest of my family and pick up the presents from us. Nate could not have been more rude. He didn't even smile for her, even ignored her! He smiled for his cousins who had to get their "Bay Nay" kisses before they left...but Aunt B got snubbed. Sorry Lori!! (And for those of you wondering why we call Lori "Aunt B", it is kind of a long story, but derives from her childhood nickname of "Beezer", which came from her middle name "Beth", etc. Our dad loves to create nicknames and this one just stuck...so when Jenni had the first child of our family, it was decided that Lori would be Aunt B and I would be Auntie M.) But I digress.

So Nate has had a bit of a behavior problem of late. He is not so bad yet, I just worry about how much worse it will get before he gets better. He hits, slaps, bites, head butts and is starting to use his voice a bit more to express his frustration. He mostly does this to me, but occassionally to DJ too. DJ has a look that he can give Nate that makes him stop automatically, but somehow I can't convey the same ominous look! So that begs the question....How in the world do you discipline a one year old? He doesn't understand time out...believe me, I've tried it! He doesn't understand consequences yet and just keeps pushing our buttons. All we can say is NO and redirect him, which is quite frustrating for us. I know he is just upset and frustrated that he can't express how he's feeling in words, and I try to be as soothing as possible after he has gotten in trouble. But I don't know what is getting through to him and what is going way over his head. Please pray for me to have lots of patience, because this is one difficult stage we are in right now.

All the same, I wouldn't change anything in the world. Life is good, even with all the complications and frustrations. So, Merry Christmas to you all and please take a moment during this holiday season and really thank God for your family and everything you have been blessed with this year. We are always thinking about what we don't have and what we want, and not appreciating everything we do have. It's almost a new year, so enjoy the rest of this one with those that you love. "And God bless us, everyone." Sorry....stole that from a Christmas Carol!! :)

And we're walking.....!!

Yes, I do find it hilarious that the name of this post is also a line from one of the funniest Progressive commercials out there. I like to make myself chuckle sometimes! But seriously....NATE IS WALKING NOW!!!! It was bound to happen soon, he has been cruising around for a while now holding on to whatever he could to support himself. But somehow it still shocked us when he took those first few tentative steps all alone! It was awesome. This happened two nights ago, and we are still amazed to see him toddle a few steps and then plop down on his bottom! So cute! And now our lives change again. We'll be chasing him around for the next couple of years...better get our running shoes on!

So "baby Nate" is now "toddler Nate"...although I will never call him that. We are in a very interesting and amusing stage right now. Troubling sometimes, yes. Temper tantrums, picky eating, and mood swings galore. But so amazing at the same time. It is just awesome to watch him discovering new things every day. He is so into his toys right now! For the first time he is actually interested in them. I'm sure he will be more interested in the wrapping paper and boxes at Christmas, but he will probably entertain his toys a bit longer than he has before now. It will be so fun to watch him cruising around! We can't wait to show him off to his family in San Marcos!!

Reunion fun!

I love this happy face!!!

Nate tasting mommy's apple pie. He loved it!

Just a funny picture of Bryson

Davis and Dylan...aka "the twins"

Great Grammie meeting Baby Henry...he's a big boy!!

Aunt B giving Nate his bottle before bed

Nate is curious about his Great Grammie!

Brother-in-laws rooting for opposite teams....uh oh!

Great Grammie holding Baby Nate

So this Thanksgiving we were able to get together with my mom's brother and his family. It has been over 15 years since all of the cousins were ALL together, and guess what folks?? There's only 5 of us! How is it that hard to get everyone together in the same place? Location, location, location. Melisa lives in Michigan, Jenni lived in North Carolina for years, and Carin, Lori and I have been in Texas, but far apart from each other. Texas is a big state, y'all!! And now that we are all married and have kids it will just get harder to get us all together. But for one afternoon, it happened!! DJ and I finally got to meet Dylan, Carin and Rusty's son who was adopted last year. And we all got to meet Baby Henry, Melisa and John's 6 month old cutie! Of course they hadn't met Nate yet either, so it was a great time. But mostly, we all got to introduce our new sons to their Great Grammie A. Our Grammie lives in an assisted living facility in Amarillo now, and she doesn't like to travel much...it is really hard on her at 87. But we convinced her to come and I think she is very happy that she did! I have posted some pictures of this momentous (for us anyways!) occasion. And some other pics from Thanksgiving as well. Enjoy!

And once again, these pictures are out of order and I can never get my message to appear before the pictures. Oh well. :)

Nate's party and Thanksgiving

Here are some pictures from Nate's party. I don't know why I couldn't get them in order, so they are in reverse order here. So I'm technology challenged!! Oh well....

Lori's banner that she made for Nate. It says "Baby Nate Turns 1!"

Daddy, cake is GOOD!!!

And after!!

Before he dug in to his little cake.....



Hello everyone! Can anyone believe that it is almost December?? Tomorrow is December 1st!! Where did this last year go? It just seemed to fly by. We had such a great Thanksgiving weekend and were able to get so much accomplished. We had a great Thanksgiving meal, did some fabulous Black Friday shopping, threw Nate's birthday party and had a small family reunion....whew!! I'm still tired! Wish I could post ALL the pictures, but I'll post what I can.


We really missed seeing the Vargas side of our family, but we look forward to spending Christmas with them again this year. It will be so great to show off all of Nate's skills, and by then he may be walking by himself, who knows??!! Anyways, we want to send the Vargas family our love and let them know that they were missed. This was DJ's first Thanksgiving away from his parents, and it was hard for him. But it will make Christmas all that much more special, and we can't wait!