The Encounter

Well, it was bound to happen. We were bound to run into my ex sooner or later. And when it did, I had a very strange mix of emotions that I was not expecting. I'll set the scene for you:

DJ and I went to San Marcos for his uncle's funeral the week before Mother's Day. This was a very large gathering with TONS of family...this particular uncle did have 13 brothers and sisters afterall. Well, DJ's cousin is really good friends with my ex and we knew we would run into him here. The church was full...probably 200 people were there. When most of the crowd was gone, I looked across the church and saw him, made eye contact with him from across the room. What I did not know was exactly how at peace I would feel and this incredible sense of RELIEF that this dreaded encounter had come now....and not anytime sooner. We did have Nate with us, and all of DJ's family, and you have no idea how good that made me feel knowing that I had my loving family around me to "protect" me from this person from my past.

When I made eye contact with him, I immediately felt all of those old feelings of unease, dislike, fear and disgust. But then I remembered that I am not part of his world anymore and he can't hurt me anymore. He looked the same, growing his hair and facial hair out and still had that smug look on his face. Knowing that he still looks the same, still hangs out with the same old crowd, probably still works in the same place, still not doing anything with his life...it all made me feel so relieved that I GOT OUT!!! Yes, I wasted almost 5 years of my life with him, but I'm no longer in that relationship. No longer feeling unloved, unwanted...more like a caregiver than a partner. No sir...I am out of that life.

Now I am in a healthy marriage with an incredible man who has changed his life so dramatically...for me and his son. I have been accepted into his loving and incredibly supportive family. I now have a real partner who contributes equally to our home, pays his bills, and CARES about me and my feelings. Loves me for who I am, and loves my family too. I am so lucky, and this encounter just reminded me of that. So I wanted to share it with you all, if there is anyone left who reads my blog. :)

I also want to thank each and every one of you for the support you have given me over the last three years. I have made so many changes and all of you were a part of them, even if just by being my friend. Thank you for helping me realize my worth and helping to guide me to my new incredible life. Even though it was uncomfortable to run into him at this meaningful family gathering, it was the best thing that could have happened to remind me of what I have now, and where I came from. Have a blessed day everyone!